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We all know Samuel L. Jackson as an ageless wonder whose cultural impact spans decades and mediums, but true fans will remember that he once lent his vocal talents to Pontiac to shill the new Grand Prix sedan in the early 2000s. The result was a series of pretty standard car commercials, albeit smoother than most—and one absolutely ridiculous R-rated audio outtake that’s lived on in weird corners of the internet since then.
The brief backstory begins in 2003, when GM signed off on the series of TV and radio ads voiced by Jackson and produced by Vigilante, “Pontiac’s urban-marketing agency,” according to an Ad Week report from the time. The campaign would revolve around Pontiac’s “Fuel for Your Soul” tagline. But at some point, a simple radio recording session went way off the rails with Jackson ad-libbing a hilarious, no-way-we-can-air-this obscene commercial for the 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix. Listen below:
Audio of the best GM commercial never made could’ve faded into legend were it not for Autoblog obtaining the clip from a source at Vigilante following Pontiac’s demise back in 2009. The clip has since been taken down and re-uploaded several times, so enjoy it while you can—we were recently reminded of its existence by Roadshow’s Chris Paukert on Twitter. The Drive generally does not publish obscenities, but we believe it’s important to transcribe Jackson’s brilliance for the historical record.
“All right, check this out. How many cars you get in your life? You know, like, what—four? Five? One mistake—DAMN! Your shit’s fucked up. But get in one of these bad mo’fuckers, 260 charged…supercharged powers and the most best handling driving mo’fuckers in its class, and your life be ZOOMING like a mo’fucker! But this time, it’s gonna be like…so fuckin’ fast, I mean really, really fuckin’ fast, you won’t even be thinking about that shit. 2004 Grand Prix with Comp G? The baddest mo’fuckin’ Pontiac made! FUEL FOR YOUR ASS! I’m talkin’ ’bout, that’s the shit.”
This could be the most compelling argument anyone’s ever made for a 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix. Clearly, this ad spot is for the GTP, whose actual commercial was this one:
Needless to say, this outtake didn’t make it to radio or TV, and it’s certainly not safe for work. It’s a good thing this is the holiday season, right? Here are some more of Jackson’s ad spots that were approved for mass consumption by the FCC, just in case you don’t remember the last gasps of Pontiac as a brand:
That Ad Week story linked above also mentions that GM spent $175 million on Pontiac marketing in 2002—that’s almost $250 million today. Seven years later, Pontiac was dead as a doornail. But if this outtake is all we got out of it, hard to deny it was money well spent.
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