Cops at Red Light Reportedly Spot New Hampshire Man Smoking Crack, Receiving Oral Sex in Car Ahead

"Live free or die" has its limits. 

Google Maps / Chrysler / Manchester Police Department / Boris Roessler/picture-alliance/dpa/AP Images

The New Hampshire state motto, for those who may not be aware, is "live free or die"—and it's a saying that does indeed sum up the mindset of many residents of the White Mountain State, whose libertarian leanings have trickled into the laws in ways both appealing (the state is one of five without a sales tax) and foolhardy (it's the only state in the union where adults are not required by law to wear a seat belt). 

But even free-thinking Granite Staters have their limits as to what counts as acceptable conduct behind the wheel. Just ask 51-year-old Michael Douville of Nashua, who learned as much on January 15th—when police arrested him after allegedly spotting him smoking crack and receiving oral sex while driving. 

According to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Manchester Police Department detectives from the Street Crimes Unit were behind a Chrysler 300 at the corner of Union Street and Valley Street when they noticed something odd, even by New Hampshire standards: the man in the driver's seat of the vehicle ahead of them appeared to be smoking a substance that was clearly not tobacco, while the female occupant seated shotgun was performing a very thorough, close-up examination of the driver's lap. 

Their professional curiosity aroused, the detectives walked up to the Chrysler, according to the report, identified themselves as police, and asked the driver to pull over once the light turned green. Douville, however, had other ideas; perhaps gauging the difference between his American-made sedan's top speed and that of the pedestrian cops, he took off, cutting west and through the parking lot of an Advance Auto Parts before heading back towards Union Street at what the report defines as "a high rate of speed."

Quick as the alleged crack-smoking loverboy's Chrysler might have been, however, it was no match for radio waves. Having received a detailed description of the car from the detectives, Officer Robert Harrington spotted and stopped Douville's Chrysler about five blocks away from the site where he'd first been spotted allegedly in the midst of his vice squad double-down. While the female fellatiator had fled the scene separately, Harrington was able to take Douville into custody, and recovered a small amount of crack cocaine. 

Douville was charged with reckless conduct, possession of a controlled drug, disobeying a police officer, and of course, lewdness. He appeared in court on January 16th.

And, for those of you thinking that this seems like it would make a delightful Florida Man story, well, good news: According to The Smoking Gun, Douville was convicted of misdemeanor theft in Florida back in 2016.